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Sunday, 22 February 2009

  • My #1 Favorite Thing About Being Single

    I have been single since September, and haven't had a serious relationship since last February.  I love being single, it is awesome, but the one thing I love above all others is this:

    When I'm driving, and screw up, I no longer yell at myself in my own head in my girlfriend's voice in the way she would've bitched at me.

    That would be the one part of a long-term relationship that I couldn't stand: eventually, when you're driving and make a mistake (cutting someone off, missing a turn, etc), you imagine exactly what your ladyfriend would say if she were in the car and then it PISSES YOU OFF.  I would be getting mad at someone who wasn't even there because of how mad at me they would've been if they had been there.  Which they weren't.  Total mindscrew.

    What's more, sometimes when I would mess up while driving and then my girlfriend's nagging voice would creep into my head, I would blurt out loud how I would've responded if they had said that.  I was getting into arguments WITH MY F**KING SELF.  Nobody needs that.

     

    Yay being single.

    www.myspace.com/jolfrey

  • The 26 Greatest Simpsons Episodes of All-Time: 20-16

    Part Two of my list.  This time I'm keeping every explanation to 25 words or less + a quote.

    20. Radioactive Man- A brilliant Milhouse episode with a TON of wonderful sight gags.  Mickey Rooney's cameo is one of my favorites.

    Homer: Marge... are you keeping men in this house?  Radioactive men!?

    19. Who Shot Mr. Burns? 1 & 2- I didn't want to give each one their individual ranking, as both are equally great.  The Simpsons at the height of their creativity and popularity.

    Dr. Hibbert- Well, I can't possibly solve this mystery.  Can YOU?

    (Points to camera, but when camera pans out, it is shown that he is actually pointing at Chief Wiggum)

    Wiggum:  ...Well, I'll try; I mean, it's my job, right?

    18. Homer the Great- One of the first Simpsons episodes I ever loved dearly.  I still laugh when thinking about the line "The paddling of the swollen ass."

    QUOTE: The entire Stonecutters Song.

    17. El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer- Johnny Cash was wonderful, and this episode would be much higher if the ending hadn't sucked. So many memorable moments aside from that.

    Chief Wiggum: Help yourself, Simpson; it's not my job to talk people outta killin' themselves!

    16. Two Bad Neighbors- Homer Simpson vs. George Bush is one of the great rivalries in TV history.  Bush's contempt for Bart MAKES this episode.  Pure legendary.

    Bush: Those are presidential pajamas.  You can only get them if you're the President, and you're NOT the President.

    Bart: Yes I am!

    Bush: Wh--jsh, no you're not! BAR!!!

Saturday, 21 February 2009

  • The 26 Greatest Simpsons Episodes of All-Time: 26-21

    On my MySpace page (www.myspace.com/jolfrey), I have a list of the 25 (26) greatest Simpsons episodes ever... or at least, in my opinion.  I'm going to expound on the list in blog form.  Enjoy, Mancouch!

     

    26. Hurricane Neddy- This is such a brilliantly-written Ned episode.  While the episode where he opens the Leftoreum may be more memorable, this episode certainly packs a greater comedic wallop.  Ned's rant on many of Springfield's residents in truly priceless, and Hurricane Neddy also has one of the most quotable lines in the show's history:

    "Look, I'm Dick Tracy.  Take that, Prune Face!  Now I'm Prune Face.  Take that, Dick Tracy!  Now I'm Prune Tracy... take that, Dick--!"

    Ned's threat to run people down with his car if he irks them and Dr. Foster's suggestion that the Simpson family wander about the psycho ward unattended ("One of our patients is a cannibal.  Try to guess which one; I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!") are classic moments as well.

    25. Cape Feare- This is ranked far lower on my list than on many other Greatest Simpsons lists, and I think it is because this episode loses something for me on repeated viewing.  The rake incident with Sideshow Bob is still funny, but not as uproarious as the first time I saw it.  My fondest memories of Cape Feare are:

    -Bart holding a show program with Sideshow Bob's picture on it during his attempt to distract Sideshow Bob from killing him.

    -Homer flying into a very nervous Bart's room with brownies and a sharp knife, then with a chainsaw.

    - Sideshow Bob's tattoo saying Die Bart, Die ("Nobody who speaks German can be evil!")

    24. I Am Furious Yellow- Stan Lee's cameo appearance in superb. 

    Bart: Stan Lee came back?

    Comic Book Guy: Stan Lee never left.  I'm beginning to think his mind is not in mint condition.

    I also always thought Krusty's reaction to first seeing "Angry Dad" is so accurate about how comedians react to something that is funny.  This episode also satirized the .com bubble beautifully.  Loved it.

    23. Mountain Madness- Homer and Mr. Burns are trapped in an avalanche-covered cabin during a team-building retreat for the Power Plant.  All I have to say about this episode is that it's really, really funny.  Homer and Mr. Burns' descents into madness made my week after seeing this episode for the first time.  Lenny and Carl also enjoy marquee performances in Mountain Madness.

    22. A Star is Burns- This was a controversial Simpsons episode because Matt Groening did not want it to be created; he feared it would too closely associate The Critic with The Simpsons and basically act as a half-hour commercial for the show.  It did, but oh well; this episode was terrific.  Barney's movie was great, but his reaction upon realizing he made a movie (explaining why he was on the cover of Entertainment Weekly) is wonderful.  Am I the only person who laughed as hard as Homer the first time I saw Hans Moleman get nailed in the scrotes with a football?  Didn't think so.

    Burns: Listen, Spielbergo: Schindler and I have a lot in common.  We both made bombs for the Nazis... but mine worked, dammit!

    21. Homer Badman- Another episode that is rated lower than some might expect.  While brilliant and grand in its undertaking, there are just some Simpsons shows I like more, plain and simple.  Homer's escapades at the candy convention are hysterical, and the way he gets misrepresented on television are also priceless.  Nothing against the episode, I can just think of a few others that are funnier to me.   

    I love it when feminists get proven wrong, though.  That's my favorite thing about this ep.  But that babysitter did have a sweet can.

  • HOW could that slip your mind?

    So last weekend, I went on a date with this girl.  It ended up going well and we stayed up until 2am talking.  I then fell asleep on her couch.

    I was awoken the next morning around 7... by her son.  Her 3-year-old son that she had failed to mention at all the night before. 

    I was incredibly groggy when I saw his face and he said "Hello."  My first thought, honestly, was:

    "Oh my God... did I seduce a young boy last night?" 

    My next thought worried me even more: "Oh my God... did a young boy seduce ME last night?" Everclear does weird things.

    The way I initially rationalized that I hadn't engaged in intercourse with this child was I figured no matter how crappy the bouncer at the bar I went to the night before was, he wouldn't be duped by any I.D. that said the kid standing before me was of legal age.  That's what sold me.  The thought he might be my date's kid didn't enter my mind for another few seconds.

    I have no problem with single mothers.  I do have a problem with self-denying single mothers who NEGLECT to bring up the fact they have a son of speaking age until I conveniently discover them staring at me with matted hair and dinosaur pajamas.

    Let that be a lesson to you, whores.

    www.myspace.com/jolfrey

Friday, 20 February 2009

  • Hey there! My name is Joel Fry, and I am a stand-up comic from Des Moines. I am a huge fan of this site, particularly its name. I myself would like a Couch for Men. THIS man. ME.

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  • Visit JoelFryComedy's Mancouch Site
    • Name: Joel
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 2/20/2009

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  • I am a stand-up comic based in Des Moines who tours all over the Midwest. Check out my tour schedule on www.myspace.com/jolfrey

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